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The Unemployment Blues

September 19, 2003 – As a recent casualty of the jobless recovery, I have had time to ponder several points in between filing unemployment claims and seeking work where little is to be found.

The first issue is a natural reluctance to hire on the part of employers who are watching just as closely as employees as to when the unemployment crisis will end. I run into this conflict quite a bit by applying for jobs that are beneath my professional expertise, just for the sake of getting a job. Employers tell me that they would hate to hire me for the position when I’ll just pick up and leave as soon as the job market has room for someone of my skills. That’s a fine how-do-you-do; being turned down for a position for being over-qualified (I would imagine a fair number of MBAs flipping burgers are having these very same thoughts). I can’t really argue with that logic, but it certainly doesn’t make me feel better now.

That’s not the only thing that really has my teeth tight. I read recently that the illustrious Bill Gates has a net worth of $46 billion. Wow, I could easily be happy with a thousandth of a percent of that, and probably get on my feet rather well. Here’s the thing that will really get your wheels spinning. Let’s say you dropped a $100 bill on the ground accidentally (you didn’t have your wallet all the way in your pocket after you cashed your unemployment check). Mr. Gates is strolling along and sees it on the ground. If we took his net worth and converted it into a yearly salary, do you think it would be worth his time to pick up the $100 bill? Not in the slightest, as a matter of fact, he would be at around a –7,293% return on his time invested picking the bill up off the ground (if he took a leisurely five seconds to do it). Let’s pretend he has one of his assistants with him, and shortens his time investment down to a half-second “Get that”. Once again, Mr. Gates didn’t economize his ROI with that statement. The half-second he took to order the bill picked up would be a –729% return on investment. Better let the next pedestrian pick up that c-note Bill. Having a lot of time on my hands gets me to pondering things such as this.

As for me, should I be the lucky pedestrian following behind Mr. Gates as he wisely ignores the $100 at his feet, I would be ravenous in pouncing; reminiscent of a stringy vulture spotting an opening to the carrion. For that matter, it doesn’t even have to be a large denomination. A dollar on the ground would make me sprint at this point. Any employers out there who are even slightly altruistic might want to get me out of the unemployment line and prevent thoughts such as these in the future.

Submitted by Jason

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